ChicagoClout

It seems lately that Chicago has become the mecca of protests. I've covered nearly every form of civil disobedience by Israelis, Palestinians, PETA, hotel unions, the Falun Gong and a litany of other groups in the downtown area. I've been caught in the middle of shouting matches that resulted in me somehow getting pelted with pretzels. But today marks a new low. Allow me to explain ...

During a protest at the Sheraton Hotel on Columbus and Northwater this evening, a large group of anti-bank, anti-bailout, anti-foreclosure people came out of the woodworks and made their presence known to the American Bankers Association.

The ABA will be hosting their conference on Tuesday at the Sheraton, and representatives are already assembling. While a nearly full-scale mobilization of the police department's available manpower was ordered to quell the protest in front of the hotel, a group of about two dozen protesters infiltrated the hotel lobby possibly from the riverwalk entrance and began shouting slogans with bullhorns and generally disrupting the peace.

Me, my colleagues, and supervisors rushed inside and managed to work our way through to the center of the melee. There we encountered the voice behind the bullhorn: an octogenarian with a cane. She was instructed to leave the premises or face imprisonment. When she tried to retort, a large glob of saliva shot out of her mouth and onto the brim of my hat. As if that weren't enough, her dentures popped out of her mouth. She quickly sucked them back in and slowly scuttled out of the lobby with the rest of her entourage. I was both disgusted and slap happy. Eric Estrada, yes Ponch himself, was on hand, and I'm pretty sure he saw me escorting grandma outside (what he was doing there was anyone's guess).

So if you plan on being in the area this week, beware of protests planned for both tomorrow and Tuesday at the Sheraton. Word has it that more than 60 buses will be unloading protesters. You can bet on your garden variety anarchists showing up and wreaking havoc. Michael Moore, the liberal filmmaker and "champion of the people" is rumored to make an appearance. My advice is to steer clear of the area unless you want to be part of the protest. And if you're over 80 and require a cane and/or dentures, stay home. Please.