Chicago Homeland Security Violations DOWM

Commissioner sends friends truck to Homeland security property

The City of Chicago has a standing order to make absolute certain no unwanted vehicles or people are on the property. Ralph “Chicklets” Chiczewski has standing orders to make sure only businesses that know the game are on the property. On June 25, 2019, a food truck was sent to the rear of the Sawyer Water Plant to serve some vittles for the employees of the Department of Water Management. The hours were from 10:30 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. Unfortunately, the food was being served at the very back of the plant to avoid any violations of Homeland security protocols. Chicago Plant police were upset because they were unable to protect Chicago Citizens in case of a security breach.

On the menu was a feast:

“The Conner” a real fat sandwich loaded with backfat, grizzle, grease, butter, oil. The sandwich was a real “smash”.

“The Ralph”, the sandwich loaded with tons of grease. After finishing up that whopper, it will show itself out of both ends before you make it out of the parking lot.

“The Julie-in fries”. The get under the desk special if ever there was one. Goes down the throat as slippery as an eel. Heavy on the salt and garlic that makes everyone in the office happy as hell.

The Pope-Cycle”. Enjoy an extra thick popsicle with a creamy white inside. The more you suck on this chilly treat the more you can experience different flavors. Like a new popsicle every hour. With some people only one popsicle is enough, but the girth on this big boy is for those who demand more. Get in line to lick this bad boy.

As for Safety and Homeland Security? It is only water.

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